All right, my close personal friends of Weblandia, you now have a chance to be the first to read my new book, a very exciting, very funny, slightly corny, epic fantasy adventure novel about five elf women on a quest to save their world from witches, mermaids, and dragons.
Here’s the blurb:
ELF SAGA: DOOMSDAY
Every hundred years a fresh horde of vicious dragons is unleashed upon the elven world of Vaenos, but this time five intrepid women are going to stop it. Or at least, they’re going to try really hard to.
Recruited by the mysterious hunter Lozen from a distant land, Jenavelle the proud knight, Amina the cheery pirate, Niya the hard-drinking mercenary, and Tomoe the gentle shaman must travel the world to find the lost unicorns, break a few curses, discover the origin of elven life, pick up a couple lovers, and, oh yes, stop the dragon apocalypse. How hard can that be?
Fortunately, they have a skilled cook and they find a miraculous crystal ship, so they can eat like queens as they fly around the world, slaying monstrous dragons, cruel witches, and killer mermaids, when they’re not confronting their families, running from their pasts, and wrestling with their own inner demons.
Can five women really take on so many villains? Probably. They are heroes, after all!
Discover the world of Vaenos, where dragons are weapons of mass destruction, faeries are annoying pests, mermaids are hideous monsters, and everyone has long pointy ears!
And here’s how it starts:
“We only want your gold,” yells one of the taller bandits. I count thirteen of them, all fairly young and angry-looking, all with old rusted swords and scraggly attempts at beards. They’re completely blocking the end of the bridge, but I’m in no mood to turn back and find another way around this river, so here we are. He calls out again, “We don’t want to kill you.”
“You don’t want to kill us? Wow, you guys really suck at making threats,” chuckles the woman on my right. “You should try something like, we’re going to shoot every one of you, and then take all your purses while you lie bleeding and whining in the mud.”
“Ease it back, Lozen,” I mutter. “Remember, we’re the good guys.”
Dark clouds rumble overhead as the first light hints of the coming rain start to fall on the dusty hills and the filthy river running beneath us. The thin gray haze of ash that hangs in the air smells more earthy today, and less flinty. But it’s still been more than three days since I’ve seen a faerie out here. Not a good sign.
“Drop your weapons and give us your money!” the red-faced bandit shouts.
“Drop your pants and give us a show!” Lozen laughs and waves at them.
On my left, Amina laughs too, and then quickly hides her mouth with her hand as she gives me a guilty look.
“Lozen, please.” I exhale slowly as I massage my eyelids, trying to keep from raising my voice. “You’re not helping.”
Behind us, Niya mutters, “You seriously expected Lozen to help? Have you met her?”
“Unfortunately.” I step out in front of my companions and study the bandits blocking the west end of the bridge. They all have a light speckling of red around their tall ears, the sides of their faces, and the backs of their hands. Dragon scales.
I grimace and call out, “I am Syra Jenavelle Rolantir, gray knight in service of Her Majesty Donatella Ganelon, Queen of Gallia. And I am ordering you to step aside and let us pass.”
The dirty men with the rusty swords glare at me. “This isn’t Gallia, girl.”
“No, it isn’t.” I sigh. “Gallia enjoys a much better class of criminals.”
“It’s true.” Amina nods. “The thieves in Gallia are just the most charming people ever. Very gallant. And so funny! They can just charm the purse off you… and the pants off you.” She grins. “You know, if you were wearing pants to begin with.”
“Last chance!” the Drogori bandit growls. “Your money or your lives!”
“We don’t have time for this,” I say, mostly to myself. “Wolfram, step back, please.”
The huge blonde slab of muscle who carries our food and bedding takes several steps back as we raise our bows. I call out one last time, “Walk away now or we start shooting.”
“Get them!” The bandits charge.
CONTINUED IN ELF SAGA: DOOMSDAY
Want to read it all?
Send me an email at josephrobertlewis @ gmail.com
Tell me that you are volunteering to read ELF SAGA, and that you’ll finish the whole thing by Friday, December 5 (that’s only 2 weeks from now!).
What do you have to do?
Just read it and let me know whether you like it or not. If you like it, great! I’ll probably ask you to post a glowing review when it goes on sale. If you don’t like it, let me know what you didn’t like so maybe I can fix it before it goes on sale.
Have a great weekend!